Bikepacking on my Brompton G-Line!

Since buying my beloved Brompton G-Line, many have asked whether I intend to go bikepacking. The G-Line was and is billed as the Brompton you can go anywhere on and when I went to the lunch event, there was an example on display - still with dried mud and dirt encrusted everywhere - that had recently taken someone on the South Downs…bike packing. 

Bikepacking! The pursuit of combining cycling with camping, all while attempting to convince oneself that lugging a tent and a week’s worth of food on two wheels is a splendid idea. What could possibly go wrong? Well, let me enlighten you on the myriad of reasons why bike packing is not just a bad idea, but an awful one.

First off, let’s talk about the bike itself. You might think that your trusty steed, which has valiantly carried you to the station and back, is up for the challenge of carrying a tent, sleeping bag, and enough snacks to feed a small army. It isn’t. The moment you strap on that G-Line rack back and load your bike with camping gear stowed away in the bag on your front carrier block, you’ll quickly realise that your bike has transformed from a sleek machine into a clunky, wheeled beast. Suddenly, every hill feels like Swain’s Lane, and every pothole is a potential trip to the nearest A&E.

The camping aspect. The joys of sleeping outdoors! There’s something romantic about the idea of lying under the stars, but let’s be honest: it’s mostly just cold, damp, and full of bugs, rodents and strange noises that only the night can bring. It is something you might have attempted in the back garden of your parents’ house for all of 15 minutes, when you were 9-years-old.  You’ll spend half the night wrestling with your tent, which, despite being ‘easy to set up,’ will somehow take you an hour and an online video tutorial to erect. (That is if you can achieve any phone reception at all)! When you finally do manage to get it up, you’ll find that you’ve pitched it on a lovely patch of uneven ground, ensuring that you’ll wake up with a crick in your neck and a newfound appreciation for your mattress back home.

Let us not forget about the food situation. Unlike my approach which would be to frequent inns and eateries along route, bikepacking means that you should fancy yourself a gourmet chef. However, when you’re bikepacking, your culinary skills will be reduced to boiling water for instant noodles. Not that dissimilar to someone on the run from the police! After a long day of cycling, the last thing you want to do is fumble with a camping stove that refuses to light, while your stomach growls louder than the approaching wind. If you think you can pack fresh ingredients, think again! Your bananas will be mush by the end of the first hour, and the bread will resemble a pancake by day two. Bon appétit!

The weather? Unpredictable British weather! You may set off under a glorious blue sky, only to find yourself caught in a torrential downpour within minutes. Nothing says fun quite like cycling through mud, with rainwater streaming down your face while you desperately try to remember where you packed your waterproofs. They will be at the very bottom of your bag, buried under soggy socks and a deflated inflatable pillow.

Finally, the social aspect of bikepacking. While you might envision bonding with friends over a campfire, the reality I would imagine is often quite different. After a long day of cycling, everyone is too tired and grumpy to enjoy each other’s company. Instead of sharing stories and laughter, you’ll likely find yourselves in a silent standoff over who forgot to bring the marshmallows.

In conclusion, bikepacking may seem like an adventurous escape into nature, but it’s really just a recipe for discomfort, frustration, and a newfound respect for the comforts of home. So, the next time you consider strapping on your helmet and heading out into the wild, remember, there’s a reason why camping is often best enjoyed from the comfort of your living room, with a good cup of tea in hand. I find that cycling through Hampstead Heath on my G-Line is more than enough off-road for me. I will leave bikepacking to the hippies, aging Geography teachers and social workers. 

Until next time, stay safe out there people!